Motherfucking Delicious Omelette

You may have thought one of two things: either Michael is getting lazy about doing blog posts, or he is getting lazy about cooking. Well it's definitely more so the latter rather than the former. The other pickle is that I no longer have a camera. The one I had been using was just a lender and it had to be returned. So, this blog may be taking a bit of a break for a while.

Anyway, here is an omelette I made for dinner.

I started the shutter bangin' a little late, but hopefully my general method is as salient as I think it is.

Started of course by frying a red bell pepper and white onion. Olive oil was used, then sweet chili sauce. There was a sprinkling of rosemary and basil once the sweet chili settled in.

Scooped the vegetable menagerie onto a plate once they were done and used the same pan for the eggs. I probably used too many eggs. There's about four or five in there. You can also notice that I didn't whip them up with milk or any such augmenting ingredients. I put it in the pan and slashed the eggs until the yolks mixed with the whites. Tossed some pepper on there too.

Eggs are done, time for the cheese--Fruilano, shredded.

















Once cheese is melted, slip the vegetable menagerie on top. Top with raspberry yogurt and cilantro.

This omelette was just as good as one I'd had from an excellent cafe in Nelson. While the contents were different, the compatibility and fullness of the flavours were equal. Five borks out of five.

Grilled Cheese And Soup

Sounds exciting! Uhhh....

Actually, this isn't your flaccid McDonald's grilled cheese, and this isn't your factory-pressed Campbell's soup brick in a can. (Actually, it is, but I put spices in it.)

The girl and I had to catch a show so we needed something snappy. Seems to be the case more often than not.

Since I was being such a snappy guy, I didn't snag the ingredient-town shot. I'M SORRY OKAY! I mean, uh, here's the list.....*shudders*.....instead...

- Bread (some flax or multigrain variety)
- Margarine (Non-hydrogenated
- Cheese (Cracker Barrel Old Cheddar)
- Cilantro
- Olive Oil (Extra Virgin)
- Red Bell Pepper
- Basil (in crushed spice form)
- Soup (Campbell's Cream of Mushroom; one can (250ml??))
- Turmeric
- Crushed Red Chilis

Slice that pepper up into strips like so. Toss them into a pan with some olive oil and grill away. For best results, get a light black char along the edge of the peppers as seen in the phot-o. Sprinkle basil on peppers toward end of the grilling process. If you put the spices in too early they might lose their potency. You can get the soup cooking during this process.

This is roughly one tsp (pronounced "tsp") of turmeric about to be added to the soup. This will make the soup a yellow-y colour. The change in colour makes it look like you made the soup from scratch even though it came from a can. Remember: the colour hides the truth; your guests never have to know.

This is what a pinch of something looks like. This is a pinch of crushed red chilis. This is a lot for a can of soup. Will bring the spice-o-meter (there is actually a spiciness scale that is derived scientifically: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) to at least a six out of ten. Half a pinch would probably do.






While It stirs the pot and while It turns the capsicum It chops the cilantro. It chops it loosely.
















Once the peppers are done, butter that bread and flop it in the pan (margarine side down of course). Then stack the ingredients on as shown--or however you prefer.

Well, I guess it still LOOKS like grilled cheese and soup, but I assure you it tastes a lot different. The turmeric completely changes the way the soup tastes. It seems to bind really well with something in the soup, which makes it seem creamier than it would be otherwise--which sounds crazy, because turmeric on its own has a bitter taste with a hint of sweetness. Of course, it doesn't taste creamier. Rather, it tastes slightly sweet. The spiciness of the chilis totally changes the taste of the soup as well.

The grilled cheese was a win as well. I really wish I could recall the type of bread I used because it was delicious. I believe I bought it from Extra Foods, and it was most certainly a multigrain or flax variety. The peppers were tasty, though a little difficult to bite through cleanly, and could have used more basil. The cilantro got a little too warm and subsequently mushy from getting grilled. I recommend adding it after you grill the sandwich.

The lady really liked this actually. She said something like, 'If you keep cooking like this I will definitely let you make supper for me more often'. Surprising since this is one of the more basic things I make.

I would have given this three borks, but since the lady was impressed I'm going to bump it up a notch.

Four borks out of five.

Spicy Perogies

I've fallen out of a regular blogging schedule. This is to be expected for those that know me. I am not very good at setting my own deadlines or maintaining some periodic task. (Just kidding about that last one, prospective employers :D )

I don't remember exactly what kind of mood I was in here; but I do remember I made fried perogies with various spices and it turned out quite well. This time I wanted to try making them spicy. Maybe I felt a cold coming on.

Note to self: If ever I forget why I made something the way I did I should just make up a story. It would be more interesting that way.

You will come to learn that I quite like onions. In the totally unintended spice array I have ginger--to somewhat balance out the spiciness--cayenne pepper, garlic salt, crushed red pepper, and paprika.











Fried the onions up in olive oil first, then added the perogies into the pan. I left the onions in there because I am lazy, didn't want to dirty another plate, and didn't want the onions to get cold.












This gives a little bit of an idea of how spicy these things got. This is pre-mix. I had put some spices on one side, then flipped the 'rogies, then spice'd them again. That's a lot of cayenne.

In hindsight, I should have used a better method to distribute the spices. The ginger and cayenne were spread by brushing them off a spoon. This resulted in very clumpy, uneven flavour distribution. As well, mixing all of the spices together before applying them could have allowed me to get better ratios.
The finished product looks yummy, but did not turn out as well as intended. The spice distribution was not very good, even after mixing everything together. It was also EXTREMELY spicy; so much so that no other flavours really came through. I also didn't fry the perogies enough. They were not crispy on the outside like I had intended them to be. Margarine or butter works a lot better for accomplishing that. Even though this dish had its moments, I think I could have added something sweet to balance out the intensity of the spicy flavours, like honey or brown sugar, or maybe even barbecue sauce. I had thought about using BBQ sauce, but wanted to just stick to spices since I use sauces in a lot of meals.

Two borks out of five.

Honey Garlic Teriyaki Chicken with Green Beans

I made this meal right before a social engagement, so I wanted to make something quick and easy. I didn't work the day I made this, so I was awake and has sufficient energy. Also, I had had this chicken in my freezer for about a week and I needed to do something with it. This is what I did:

The beans:
Those are frozen, French-cut green beans. I chose olive oil, seasoning salt, and pepper for flavour because it's easy and pretty tasty. You can flavour the beans how ever you desire. You don't even have to use beans!

This is probably unnecessary, but I just wanted to show how much olive oil I used. Once swirled around, this oil covered the surface of the pan and created a layer, probably 0.5mm thick. It allowed the beans to be coated sufficiently and evenly; not too light and not too heavy. Oh, and it's way easier to spread oil around if you preheat the pan.

I used this many beans. It might look like a lot, but by the time they were cooked the pile was probably two-thirds as big. Definitely enough for a hungry bachelor.

I added the seasoning salt and pepper a couple minutes before the beans were fully cooked. I didn't add too much, and didn't need too. As always, stir and distribute the flavour.

The chick'on:
So, even though I was in a hurry, I only wanted to use one pan. After the beans were done I put them on a plate and stuck them in the oven to keep them warm (I had to microwave them later anyway), then I slapped the chicken in. The chicken came from the Co-op Marketplace and had been marinaded with teriyaki seasoning. I added honey garlic sauce on top.
You only need to flip chicken once when cooking it. I flipped this two times only because I hadn't cooked chicken in a while and wanted to make sure it was fully cooked. Just make sure you slide it around in some oil so that it doesn't stick to the pan. Other than that, let it cook long enough so that you sear each side. This seals the moisture in the chicken. Try to avoid cutting the chicken to see if it's thoroughly cooked.

The end:

I used Golden Dragon honey garlic sauce on the chicken, and highly recommend trying it for yourself. Of course, you can always make your own honey garlic sauce if you desire. That glob of stuff on the beans is honey garlic sauce that caramelized and semi-solidified in the pan.

Four borks out of five.

How I Roll, And By Roll I Mean Instruct You To Cook

What This Blog Is About

This blog is all about sharing cheap-to-make food ideas simply. Let's face it, recipes are for smart, rich, attentive people. I'm poor. I don't have vanilla extract; I don't have metric AND imperial measuring cups; I don't have a whisk; I don't have a casserole dish; I do not understand why you would want to braise something; I forget what julienne means but I'm sure it takes up a lot of time; and the time I'm waiting for my food to cook is designated for drinking beer, not checking the temperature of a meat.

That said, I want to make this as simple and beginner-friendly as possible. When I cook for myself, I rarely, RARELY use recipes. As such, anything I make is often never the same, whether it be in terms of taste or quantity. I use pictures because they allow me to show you EXACTLY what I've done, instead of writing a thousand-word essay. I also intend to create posts on the SIMPLEST facets of cooking, like how to cook pasta, wash dishes, store food, and so on.

The second most important thing in this blog is reader feedback. What do you think of my cooking? Did you try it yourself? What would you suggest I try different next time? Is there anything special I should try making? Do you have any "recipes" you would like to contribute? I am extremely welcoming to any thoughts or ideas you have. Food is meant to be shared, and I hope you share with me as well. All I ask is that if you try to follow the format I have established, which I will outline for you now.

Post Breakdown

1) Context: I feel I should provide context for the meals I make, because what I make is largely based on the amount of wakefulness, energy, and ambition I have come dinner-making time. It also makes for a nice intro.


2) Ingredients and the step-by-step: Here I take an overview shot of everything used, and then proceed to show how I cooked my food and how I incorporated the ingredients. If I have a lot of ingredients (say spices) I will try to condense the steps.


3) Final product and verdict: I show you what my food looks like before it goes in my mouth and tell you what I thought of it. I have a ratings scale out of five borks.


- One bork out of five: This rating does not exist. Never will I make something so abominable that it cannot be eaten, or tastiness cannot be extracted.
- Two borks out of five: Got a little too experimental; the flavours didn't mesh too well; I added too much of something; something was over or undercooked. Basically there were good ideas here, but they were not executed well.
-Three borks out of five: Tasty, fulfilling. Will be making this again.
-Four borks out of five: Especially tasty. Good execution of a somewhat complex dish. Will impress your romantic interest or interests.
-Five borks out of five: Probably too good to be on this blog, or at least good enough to warrant the blog's name change to "The Impoverished Gourmand". Could not be any better. Should be served in a fine-dining restaurant.


I was thinking about posting pictures of my kitchen and cooking supplies, but I think I'll save that for another post.


Grill on!

Sweet Chili Pasta

I awoke at 5pm the day I made this, which placed dinner time at around 10:30pm. It's a strange time to cook a meal, though less strange than cooking in the early am hours. Cooking past midnight is just otherworldly. It's not for me. Anyway, since it was late, cooking something more complex didn't seem appropriate.

This is what I used:

As far as I know, you can only get that (Thai Kitchen) sweet chili sauce from Costco. It is the best sweet chili sauce I have been able to find so far in Canada. You can look for other sweet chili sauces if you want, though in Canada they are under different names, such as "sweet thai", "thai chili", "sweet red chili", etc..
That's Cracker Barrel Old on the counter.

This is how much margarine I added:
As you can see, slightly less than a tablespoon to about 150g of pasta.
I mixed it in before adding the sweet chili sauce.




This is how much sweet chili sauce I added:
I mixed this in before I added the cheese.










This is how much cheese I added:
There's a fairly nice heap on there. I like my cheese. And it's grated for easy flavour distribution :)
I still had the heat on while mixing all of this stuff in which allowed everything to melt, including the cheese.

The final product:
This was quite tasty. I could have eased on the sweet chili sauce a tiny bit, but definitely something I would make again. Typically I would fry some chopped onions and bell peppers and add it to this but I had neither at the time.

Three borks out of five.